The Mistakes I've Made
by lizzyclaire
Summary: Kurosaki contemplates over all the things he's done wrong in his life, and how he plans to use those things to make himself stronger.


**Real quick before I start, this story is based off of a youtube video called ****Dengeki Daisy - How To Save A Life**** by **StormyJess20**,** **so please check it out, because it's really good.**

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

The sound of the heart monitor on the other side of the room filled it with a steady rhythm, each electronic sound letting me know that everything was going to be all right. It was comforting in a way, but at the same time kept me on edge, as if I was just waiting for something to go wrong.

The breathing of the sleeping girl in the bed was another thing that remained constant, and as I sat in a chair next to her, I did my best to not make any noise, as to not disturb the deep slumber that had taken more medication than I would have liked for her to fall into. Under the crisp, white hospital blankets that had been piled on top of her due to the unavoidable December chill, I held her petite hand in my larger, more callused one. Her face, normally somewhat tanned from the work that she endured nearly every day in the school yard, was now a sickly pale color, the blood that was usually held in her cheeks no longer available.

As I sat there on the cold metal, my mind began to drift, product of being immobile for the past few hours. As I traced back to what had led up to this incident, mistake after mistake popped up in my mind. Not all of them involved Teru either, some dating back to before I had even met her.

Becoming a hacker had pretty much sentenced me to a doomed life from then on, turning happiness to sand so that, when I grasped it, it would only slip through my fingers within a moments time. When I had been at work with Souichirou, Riko, and Master, it had been like I had been able to run away from my troubles. But like everything else, that bliss had come to an end as well. My past had crept back up on me, and grabbed me in its unbreakable grip, that I had somehow managed to escape from before.

Things got worse when Sou had gotten sick, and my depression felt like some deep pool in which I was sitting at the bottom in, never to reach the surface again. The wrong things that I had done just kept stacking up, and I was sure that they were close to toppling over, crushing me in the process with their weight. So, when Souichirou had given me the job of protecting his precious little sister, I just thought of it as something else that I could screw up. There was no way that I could get out of the task set ahead of me unscathed, I was sure of it. And in many ways, I was right.

It wasn't that my new job as Daisy hadn't caused me problems, because I couldn't count how many sleepless nights I had spent, filled with worry for the helpless little girl that I was to watch over. It was as if danger lurked around every corner, ready to quickly snap its jaws around its defenseless pray and be done with it. But, at the same time, so many joys had been brought to me because of my job. Teru, for one, had been the best thing to come out of it, and I soon found myself drawn to her like a fly to honey, drunk on the good feelings that she gave me inside. I wanted to be around her constantly, at the beginning hardly even considering how dangerous my addiction could be because she got me so high.

Of course, bad things had come from being with Teru too, even if every single one of them was my fault. I didn't want to count how many times that I had made her cry, the sight of her sorrow so painful that it felt as if a part of me died inside every time I saw it. I cursed myself nearly every day for the mistakes that I had made with her, always hoping that my carelessness would not destroy the fragile thing that we had between us. I would always prepare myself for the worst when something happened, not wanting to be thrown off guard, so I was always ready to leave her, to leave the only thing that kept me going every day.

I wouldn't know what to do if worst really did come to worst, so I knew that I would have to learn from my experiences, as I would not be able to make the same mistake twice. Each book that I had filled with careless actions and words, I pulled off its shelf, dusted it off, and reread it, revisiting some of my most painful memories just so that I wouldn't have to live through them again. After all, I couldn't lose this so vitally important person in my life, because I would no longer be able to live if I did. So, for this vitally important person, it no longer mattered what I had to go through to protect them, because I would do it. I would use my mistakes to make me stronger, and not relive them anymore, so that _my _precious Teru would not even have to catch a glimpse of my past pains, so that she would not feel them as well.

I snapped back to attention when the small brunette next to me shifted slightly, but did not open her eyes. "Kuro…love you." She breathed, not aware that she was even talking herself. I felt the edges of my mouth pull up the slightest bit, the fact that she talked in her sleep surprising me, the words that she had said though, not so much.

Yes, protecting this delicate, all important person was the top of my to do list, and as long as I could, I would keep it there. That was why, I didn't mind staying up all night to watch over her, in fact, it was something that I was glad to be able to do.

**So, I hope you guys all enjoyed this (so much that you simply **_**have **_**to review. Just kidding).**

**I didn't really have an incident when Teru is in the hospital in mind when I wrote this, so this is one of those times where I'm gonna let you guys think whatever you want about that subject.**

**After writing that, I'm way too depressed to be all happy like I usually am, but I'll see you guys again soon!**


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